Under the influence

Dawkins was having a late breakfast with his friend D. and told him about a recurring dream that had been troubling him:

I have just finished an event for my new book at a local shop and we are sitting with some friends in a pub close by when a stunningly beautiful woman walks up to our table, asking if i would sign the book she has just bought:
“I’m sorry i was late and missed your talk, but would you be so kind as to sign this for my husband? He is a great fan of yours and has faithfully read everything you’ve published. A perfectly rational and logical person — and you are his greatest influence!”
Seeing a large cross dangling from her bare neck, and perhaps because i have just downed a pint on a mostly empty stomach, i retort:
“That must make things difficult in your couple!”
Not skipping a beat, the woman invariably replies:
“Oh, not at all. We are quite happy. I always offer him just enough data for his mind to arrive at a desirable conclusion.”

A tiresome argument

Dawkins was vacationing on the seaside with a few friends. They had been arguing about the truth of science all afternoon, one renegade stubbornly maintaining that no matter how correct science proved, it might still be blindly heading in the wrong direction: somehow it might be finding the wrong set of truths. Annoyed, the great scientist plodded out into the water for a swim. As it began to get dark he turned back and made for the shore, but the second leg somehow proved much slower going. Exhausted, he finally made it to shore, but he had drifted far away from where he had set off. His friends ran down to him and asked what had happened. Panting, Dawkins answered: “Some kind of current was pushing me, and no matter how hard i swam against it, i couldn’t break free.”

Poor preaching

The scientist Dawkins was strolling down the road when he saw a youth sitting under a chestnut tree gleefully singing at the top of es lungs, “Oh God, how great you are! You have saved us from our sins!”

Leaning down with his hands on his knees, Dawkins explained to the youth that God did not exist and that the world was all there is. Despondent, the youth stopped singing and teary eyed said, “Then there is no hope!”

“Of course there still is hope, responded Dawkins, it is just that God cannot provide it.” But the youth would not be consoled, so Dawkins gave up and continued on his way.

Further along, Dawkins heard singing once more and saw another youth dancing wildly on the side of the road: “Oh God, how wonderful you are! You created us with your mighty hand!”

Leaning towards him, the scientist Dawkins once again explained that there was no God, and that humans existed only because of blind evolution. The youth scratched es head, but after a moment of silence e resumed es joyous singing, “Oh world, my God, how wonderful you are! You generated us through your blind evolution!”

Disgruntled and weary, Dawkins sighed and continued on his way.