keeping happy

Yesterday i had a mild attack of depression, which i thought had left as i went to sleep. This morning it came back during tennis however – bringing my return serve to an all-time low. I seemed to be right at the edge of the depression and thought i could almost get myself to land on the better side, if only i wanted to. Of course, i didn’t have enough oomph to want to. Then towards the end, as brian and i switched back from playing games to just hitting the ball back and forth, i suddenly had enough fun at it, that i started to try – wanting to succeed. I think the solution was not generally deciding to be happy, but rather concentrating on the more definite task at hand, namely hitting the balls back into the court. I also started playing as hard as i could, which probably created just enough of an adrenaline rush to get me over the hump (or out of the hole).

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